Once You Enter You Can Never Leave.
thelilnan:

tis the season

thelilnan:

tis the season

yeah-ditto-obvs:

literally all i want is to fall asleep on someone

that’s it

that’s all

i’m very tired and i want to lay my head on someone’s stomach and have them run their fingers through my hair and sleep

Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me.
A novel written by me.  (via lovequotesrus)
topfunnystuff:

Every time I see this, I can’t tell if he’s referencing the dog or the dad and it’s funny either way 

topfunnystuff:

Every time I see this, I can’t tell if he’s referencing the dog or the dad and it’s funny either way 

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

sam-shuts-his-cakehole:

itskaleena:

whyiseveryonefalling:

scotchcarousel:

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

image

You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

image

OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I used to step on mine until they exploded.

image

i fucking hated those things

Found the asexual

You stopped choosing me. The end.
meticulousBlues. (via yoursixwordstory)

kung-foofighter:

eytancragg:

anthramen:

I have felt first-hand the very wrath of the Turkish ice-cream man.

The trolliest ice cream man to ever live.

And look at that fucking majestic mustache.

O.O

ostracizedpoodle:

no one actually masturbates it’s just a running joke and if you do you’re sick